1. |
Just to Lose My Mind
02:34
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When I woke up I tried to meditate
But I opted out and decided to masturbate
Ate some fruit and I stared at the TV screen
Self-pity at a level you’ve never seen
Last night I made a big mistake
I drove around in the rain after I had drank
My mom told me never to do it
But I don’t have another way to get to it
I’ve been hoping desperately
I don’t lose my mind
I am certain that I am
Going to hell in due time
Later on I tried to straighten out
I dumped my gin down the sink and I thought about
How good I used to feel
When I knew what was real
Those thoughts didn’t last too long
I got distracted and I hit my bong
That thing got me way too high
I was obsessing over how I would die
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2. |
Try to Redeem Myself
03:30
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I used to take everything out on you
A generational abandonment issue
I’ve learned to breathe and count to ten
But then you told me you had moved to Texas
So I asked my mom if I could borrow her Lexus
I had to make things up to you
Watch me try to redeem myself
I should reach out and ask for help
I don’t have any self control
Watch me try to prove I have a soul
I didn’t tell my shrink about my plan
He should know that I’m a man
Who needs to fix the things that he has broke
My guilty conscience always gets me in trouble
Especially when I’m seeing double
I don’t think I’m such a nice guy
I saw your dad right outside the dance
I thought that this might be my chance
To sneak my way right back into your life
He convinced me not to take the trip
“Son, the last thing you want to do is make her sick”
I think that he deserves a prize
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3. |
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The first time that she brought me over
I’m sure her mom knew I was drunk
‘Cause when I told her what I believe in
She asked why I smelt like a skunk
Having learned a couple of lessons
I know that it’s time to grow up
Who was I to think they could fix me
I have never felt love’s enough
See me cry
You’d think my mom has died
You won’t act rational
When you’re in love with her
Then she offered her ears to listen
That was a reliable crutch
I want to make lasting impressions
But I compensate far too much
Might it be the need to perfect love
That will lead to failure in time
I hope this does not end in heartache
I don’t know if I will be fine
Watch me bawl
‘Cause she picked up his phone call
You won’t act rational
When you’re in love with her
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4. |
Can't Help Feel Insecure
04:51
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I wake up and I brush my hair
Dandruff falls everywhere
Then I floss all my teeth
And I spit blood into the sink
Can’t help feel insecure
I walk in the room
Feel a sense of impending doom
Can you smell fear on my breath
How would you react to my death
Can’t help feel insecure
I can’t understand now why she hates me
I can’t understand now why she loves me
But that’s okay because I can’t even love myself
And that’s okay because I don’t really hate myself
There are people who will think that this is dumb
There are people who still think I suck my thumb
I don’t mind it because magic really rules
I don’t mind it because magic really rules
I’m so sorry for neglecting you
That’s not what a friend is supposed to do
Can’t help feel insecure
I’m gonna try really hard to change
I’m gonna rectify my family’s name
Can’t help feel insecure
Rock and roll is here to stay, now baby
Rock and roll is here to stay, now baby
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5. |
I Can See You
03:28
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I’m so glad that we still
Have a half of a chance
Didn’t talk for a while
I can still remember the way you dance
We don’t have all these plans
Like we did when we met
Couldn't ask for much more
I can go a day and feel no regret
I can see you in the salmon I eat
I can see you in the faces I meet
I can see you when I go for a run
I can see you laugh whenever I have fun (ever I have fun)
I recall when I walked
Pass the house that we built
I walked up to your door
That’s the day that I let go of my guilt
Do you think that I still
Have the charm that I had
I cherish your advice
You were there for me be it glad or sad
I can feel you when I cut off my hair
I can feel you in the clothes that I wear
I can feel you when I reach for my heart
I can feel you when the day begins to start (day begins to start)
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6. |
I'll Never Win
03:32
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Three thousand TV channels
Won’t keep me occupied
Because when I’m on the couch
I’m obsessing over what I could’ve done to keep you satisfied
You’re over things so quickly
You don’t play the fool
That fills my heart with so much envy
That has kept me from keeping my cool
Because I see you walking
Then I start talking
To myself again
I know when it comes to you I’ll never win
I’ve heard that exercise
Will keep sadness at bay
But I drank my protein shake
And I was coming up with fantasies to get you back someday
Why do I have to miss out
On all your joy and pain
That is the biggest disappointment
That has kept me from remaining sane
I don’t feel right
When things aren’t certain
I need assurance desperately
I hope I return to normalcy
Oh, can’t you see me losing
Everything I love so dearly
I’ll spend eternity
In my freezing living room
‘Cause if I go to Trader Joe’s
It’s a certainty that I’m gonna go and bump right into you
I need a new location
A different grocery store
I’m haunted everytime I go out
Paranoid walking out the front door
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7. |
To Be Him
04:21
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I hope he realizes
How lucky he really is
To kiss and hug and hold you tight
Is a privilege it’s not a right
If he goes and and treats you bad
It’s gonna make me really sad
I would do anything
I would do anything
To be him
Each time he walks by me
I try to picture what you see
Is he kind with a big heart
Is he funny and real smart
Does he have really shiny teeth
Is he deep down underneath
I never prayed for anything
Until I saw you with him
Now that I know what I’m up against
I think my prospects look dim
If he does wrong by you
There’s plenty that I could do
I’ll be here to hear you out
And get to know what you’re about
I could love you earnestly
If you and him aren’t meant to be
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8. |
I'm Afraid to Be Alone
03:52
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Seems that when I’ve got the mind to pay you no attention
That’s the time you get to thinking about my past affection
I know I don’t make things easy
What am I to do?
I can’t stand looking at you
(Look at you, look at you)
Once I start to get the confidence that you still love me
You go missing and I go to places you might still be
I can’t help but feel pathetic
What am I to do?
I feel shameful kissing you
(Kissing you, kissing you)
I’m afraid to be alone
I’d rather have you half the time than try to do anything on my own
I don’t think that I’m capable of giving love
I’m going to have to fake it through I just might do it right
I break down when you come up to me and say you’ve missed me
I would leave my friends behind if it were necessary
I don’t think I have a backbone
What am I to do?
I’ve tried to get real with you
(Real with you, real with you)
I begin to think you’re good for me and the facts will back it
But you start dancing with that asshole in the leather jacket
I shouldn’t be so judgemental
What am I to do?
I try too hard to please you
(Pleasing you pleasing you)
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9. |
Standing Close to You
03:53
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I’m often lazy
And I’ve been unkind
But give me a moment
Some good you might find
You’re rock and roll to me
Ostrich guitar
Won’t you go ahead and swallow me whole and then
Shoot me off someplace far
But if you don’t want me standing close to you
I’ll stand really far away
If you don’t want me standing close to you
I’ll stand a light year away
I’ve been twisting, I’ve been tangling, I’ve been rambling
There’s a devil at the foot of my bed
And he’s tried to kill me at least a dozen times
But you know that I’m already dead
Just like Drag Jesus did
I will rise right out of my grave
When I get on home to you darling
You know I won’t know how to behave
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10. |
Heaven Knows When
04:18
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Things are starting to get better
I’m only beginning to live
I ask for clarity
You give it endlessly
I’ll love you till heaven knows when
I have numbed enough for two lifetimes
Won’t go and make the same mistakes
You helped to keep me sane
When all I knew was pain
I’ll call on you till heaven knows when
In the morning I used to sigh
And in the evening I could not help but cry
(I don’t want to die)
(doo doo wah) I was ready
(doo doo wah) For your loving
(doo doo wah) Never needed
(doo doo wah) Nothing more
(doo doo wah) When I found you
(doo doo wah) I came to my senses
(doo doo wah) I’m only human
(doo doo wah) Nothing more
I carry exactly what I’m looking for
Strength is inherent in us
You told me I was good
And that I always should
Trust in you till heaven knows when
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My Boyfriend Los Angeles, California
“I love My Boyfriend. They’re normal-core mutants from an imaginary 1960s: in which the Beatles took lots of
antidepressants that didn't work or an imaginary ’80s in which Jonathan Richman only ever listened to The 5th Dimension and early Philly Soul records.”
~ Marc Ribot, Pi Recordings
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